Facebook Diaries (Jan. 2025) Mike Tyson / Alcohol Addiction / Back to reality / Bad places and people into a Better World / Fasting

I'm definitely becoming a deep fan of Mike Tyson... He's a tearful pussycat on the inside, and a tough guy on the outside... I heard he cried before every fight, because he hated the ugly side of himself... Muhammad Ali actually respected him... Tyson was also bullied a lot when he was young... You'd think different, but you shouldn't... Life is like a fighting match...

Mike Tyson also claimed he almost died using drugs and alcohol .. He cried he was going to die, luckily he kicked his habits... You'd think a guy like him would be tough enough to survive his addictions, but from my experiences life can throw you off the edge, and medicating with drugs and alcohol seems the only way to get your mind off the pain.... Alcohol seems safer, but when you get older you realize no one is invincible....

These last four months were pure hell for me... But I accomplished things I always wanted to do... But now that I'm healed I'm unmotivated and have social anxiety... I lived in oblivion in an imaginary world as I coped with the intensity... But now I realize I spent so much time trying to find something that I feel it was time wasted... I never get what I want or need...

It seems the bad can have a domino affect on your life... These last few months got worse and worse... And then i retreated into isolation living in my imagination until something really horrified me, and my health was at risk... I may have to keep busy and get my mind off shit to heal from all the damage... The only way to heal is to get focused and keep busy.... Accidents happen when your too idle and don't want to see anybody til you get a wake up call...

Don't say bad things can't happen to good people, because who knows, sometimes we can't see ourselves and what we do through the eyes of others.... Not that we should worry about what people think... But sometimes our good intentions pave the way to hell...

People used to be supportive and advocate the arts... Now it seems daring, or threatening to the same people that supported my work...

Don't you love freak accidents.... Oops I fucked myself up, and actually found good people in the process....

Sometimes bad occurances can steer you into a better place or meet better people... It's almost like you spiral downward and enter a portal into a better world... But you have to cut the bad out before you enter the doorway...

Someone once told me that the only true place you can be your true self is when you're home alone where no one can criticize, judge, or condemn your behavior... I found this out and saw something about myself... I never knew existed... Courage, and beauty...

You ever get sick of thinking about food... I've been ignoring my growling stomach, knowing I ate enough earlier... It's been happening a lot lately and I look healthier... But even though my stomach is growling I'm not hungry at all knowing I had full meals earlier...

I guess when people push over the edge it's time to change... Things just keep adding up... Piling up... And when that happens you turn your back on the past...