Humility, Faith, and an Attempted Suicide... (poem)

I woke up this morning after...

Realizing the possibility of mortality,

And life, thereafter...

Feeling like I aged 50 years in one day...

Lying in bed like a corpse... My outlook grey...

With tinted skin, and dirty eyes...

Feeling crippled, and in disguise...

I lay in bed almost beyond repair,

With feelings of reality, truth, and despair...

That day with my head face down on the pillow...

I wished, and wished myself a dead little fellow...

To crush my brain by sheer will...

But it wasn't happening, nor would it will..

So if I lay in bed and forgot my hunger...

And forget to feed, would I eventually slumber...

Taking too long, I decided I've had it...

So I took out my blade, and decided to stab it...

My wrist the target, but would I feel pain...

If it went deep enough, the blood would it drain...

A scarlet brook... Like bloody, bloody rain...

The point against my skin, and the pulsing of veins,

I tried to pierce this mark, I tried...

Three times a charm... Unlucky you'll find...

But like a force field, this was a sign.....

So the blade fell useless, we are all weak men,

And then the contractor pulled up, for our roof he had to mend...

I saw through the window... 

And this morbid fantasy gone,

I jumped up with frustration, 

For it was dawn...

I said "Damn it... this was just perfect timing!!!"

That was God's intervention, divining...

Just to remind me of humility and faith...

Death and Life are one in the same...

Mr. Death didn't come for me, he said...

And he took my blade away, like candy from a babe...

He got me on my feet,

Like a fallen hero,

Got me the hell up, so I made some espresso, 

Turned the switch on, i turned up my stereo...

Ate some fruit, and a bowl full of hash...

Life goes on....

Time to take out the trash...

And go to the store...

My  Death Wish no more...

Mr. Death said, "He wants me to stay..."

Because life's a jungle where children must play,

And our missions in life until our dying day...

Must be fulfilled before we go to our graves...

Amen.