The Trap Door (The Alcoholic Binge) ((poem))

When life suddenly becomes overwhelmingly difficult,

When you face, blow after blow,

Non-stop...

When the nightmares and horrors never end, 

When problems pile up, unto a crest of a high mountain,

There is nowhere left to go but downward, spiralling,

Falling down hard.

Free falling, but never really touching the ground...

The suspense, 

The horror show, the endless dark wormhole,

Pitch black unto the underworld,

Trap doors into a new reality,

Down into the dungeon of oblivion,

Not consciously aware that I even exist...

Sucking down the poisonous elixer of celebration....

But what am I celebrating???

My Death???

Or the Portal to the next world??

Self Immolation, Self Destruction, 

Watch in horror as the light dies down, 

The candle snuffed out,

Spiritual Death,

The moment I realized something wasn't right,

Space moths glowed, and fluttered around the room, 

In the darkness, dimly lit with a string of blue Xmas...

And my hands sent trails of light, trippy, and majestic...

Sent into a surreal fairyland,

Where everything was still and peaceful,

Time stood still,

And so did my thoughts...

How and why was I sent here,

Did the spirits walk me through this,  

into a world that glowed, with animated illuminescence,

Yet I felt this can't be good...

This can't be a good thing, 

So numb, but totally lucid, not drunk, but transported...

This is the end...

I want to go home,

Before I never come back,

So I went to bed....

And like a dream it became a memory, 

Then it vanished...

Like an Oasis of emotional refuge....

Amen...